SPUNKLB Single Parents United 'N Kids

Don't Be Guilty of Child Abuse and Neglect!

Non-payment of child support and non-parenting are subtle forms of child abuse and neglect. They make no bruises and leave no visible scars. Yet, the trauma of poverty and rejection show up in behavioral patterns in children and young adults in the form of senseless crimes, doing drugs, violence, and promiscuity. These are "attention getters" or "affection substitutes" and the cries of children in need of love and support.

Some children who are denied financial support from non-custodial parents live in poverty and suffer physical hardships when custodial parents cannot afford to provide for the children's needs. The children may also think that the non-custodial parent does not love them if that parent fails to support them emotionally, physically, or monetarily. The children may suffer grave emotional harm.

Because of negative experiences encountered in pursuing child support, custodial parents often grow apathetic. They convince themselves that they are managing the emotional and financial well-being of the child satisfactorily. This may be true in some instances, but one's sensitivity to additional needs and experiences must be heightened. Consider the need for adult supervision after school, rather than a door key dangling from a third-graders neck; the need for a set of encyclopedias, instead of hours spent before a television set; the need for a college degree, in addition to a high school diploma.

There are no justifications for inactivity on the part of a custodial parent in seeking child support. It is, however, misguided, Love to deny a child potential benefits solely because the adults involved find the struggle unpleasant or uncomfortable. It is a self-centered notion which eliminates the possibility of a child and parent establishing a meaningful relationship -- and the child loses.